I left my heart in Alaska, but I'll be back soon to get it

It looks like it’s been a while since I’ve been around these parts. I apologize, but I have been a little busy with things- finishing up the first semester of school, enjoying the holidays with friends and family, spending more time in airports and airplanes than what I want to think about, and starting up a whole new semester at CEU. No matter how much opportunity I’ve had to get used to it, I’m constantly impressed at how fast time goes by. Is it really mid-January already?


Before I get going with this I just want to say that I do not hate Hungary. I know sometimes I show off my countdown until I go home a little too much, and I pause an extra moment when someone asks “How’s Budapest?” but that’s all because I don’t like having to give up one thing in order to get another. I really hate not being at home right now, but if I stayed home all the time then I wouldn’t get to go to school in Hungary. It’s more of a struggle for me to deal with this than I ever thought possible, but I am doing my best to count my blessings, to realize certain things only happen once in a lifetime, and to enjoy what I do when I do it without wishing I could be doing something else. So here I am, back in the regular swing of things in Budapest trying to see if I really can benefit in the little corner of Academia I decided to hang out in.

I will say this though: going back to Alaska for winter break made me appreciate everything about home more than ever. There have been countless occurrences where I have taken things for granted- the love and support of my family, the thick bonds in friendship, the comfort of my tiny little room, snow… Yeah, I didn’t realize just how hard it was to go away from it all. I mean I’ve traveled quite a bit since I was a preteen and have seen many beautiful places and have met many wonderful people, but nothing compares to home. Plus nowhere else in the world has the Whipsaws, Sweating Honey, or Wet Thunder, so obviously Alaska is the place to be. :) Seriously though, on certain days during my break at home I would run outside to start dad’s car (I was borrowing his since mine was under a tarp and snow, and his auto start was unfortunately not working) and despite only wearing a robe and having drenched hair, my quick runs turned into stalled moments where I could look up at the snow-covered trees in the blue twilight and appreciate every inch of it. I liked driving around town and recognizing everything around me, including the people. Speaking of the people of Fairbanks, it was great to be around a population that for the most part is friendly, and doesn’t have to think twice about being courteous. Of course this doesn’t count for all Hungarians, but I get the impression that people here, at least in Budapest, have to go out of their way to be nice. It’s not like they’re cruel, but there is a lack of warmth being emitted, especially to strangers. And yes, this is an observation coming from a girl who was smashed in the shoulder with a snowball by some random punk kid trying to be cool around his friends after leaving class the other day. I’m just glad there weren’t rocks on the ground instead.

So by now it’s obvious that I loved being home and everything about it was wonderful. Even the *ah-hem* hangovers I had every once in a while were worth the fun I had the nights prior. I’m really happy I was able to spend a lot of time just hanging out with my folks. I’m sure there are aspects of retirement they hate, but I like how much more accessible they are, and I love how willing they are to try new things. They even came to ACRC with Cassandra and me as first-timers. It might not seem like a big deal, but for most of my life there was a huge social gap between my parents and me, and I’m so happy to finally be bridging it. I’m really excited to go home in April for my birthday- I know I could be using the time to explore more of Europe, but I have all sorts of other time to be using for that, such as this weekend. :)

I’m going to close this by announcing that I’m going to Serbia for the first time ever. My friend Darjana has invited me to attend her cousin’s wedding, which is an opportunity I would be an idiot to pass up. We’ll take the train to Belgrade tonight, and when we get there in the morning her sister is going to drive us to the village they grew up in. Unfortunately I have no idea what the name of the village is- I’ve heard it maybe ten times but I can never make sense of what is actually being said, haha! Hopefully when I’m there I’ll get it figured out. Wish me luck- Toni informed me that it’s possible to not survive a Serbian wedding. Should I be scared?

Thanksgiving and Vienna and School, Oh My!

I am happy to announce that as I write this, I am only 9 days away from leaving Budapest and 10 days away from arriving in Alaska. Joy! I'm not saying that I don't enjoy Budapest- it definitely has it sparkling moments, but I miss home and my family and my friends and the snow and using a phone, that I think after all these months it'll be good to see what's going on in my own turf.

I have been having some good times in Budapest for sure though, although not every day. Wednesday continues to be the worst day of the week for it starts early, ends late, and gives me too long of a break between my two classes, but not long enough to do anything productive. The rest of the days aren't bad at all, and I've been making a point to hop off random metro stops just to see what's around the parts of the city I haven't gotten to see yet. So far I've mostly been noticing the various outdoor holiday bazaars, and they are oh so lovely.

Last week Thanksgiving happened, as I'm sure most of you are aware. I was worried that it would be a sad and lonely day, since I've always been around family on that day- Cassandra came to stay with me in Greece for Thanksgiving 2006. I thought about taking a very long nap and skipping the day entirely, but luckily I found out that a restaurant near the Opera House, called M. was planning on taking traditional American Thanksgiving fare and preparing it in a "special" Hungarian way. There was also going to be live music put on by two American students at my school, so I knew if I went I would be in good company.

I had made a 7:30 reservation, but since it is seriously impossible to predict how long it will take to get somewhere (it's anywhere between 30 and 50 minutes to get from my dorm to my school, which is a big gap if you wake up late and need the extra minutes or if you get to Point B too early and have nothing to do to kill the time) so I got to the restaurant early. The host, named Marci, was extremely friendly and treated me as if I was a guest in his house. Up until this point I had not experienced this kind of hospitality in a Hungarian eatery, so I actually felt like I was intruding on a private party! The host introduced me to the performers, as well as a couple of other early patrons, and insisted we all sit together and chat. He gave me a complimentary glass of wine and left us to have whatever conversation we were going to have. It began with a discussion of "What the hell is the deal with 'half floors' here? They try to sneak in a whole other floor before they even get to the first floor from the zero floor, and what's up with having a zero floor anyway?" which lead to how cool the restaurant was for having drawings on the paper walls.

Let me see if I can describe this. The restaurant is small, so making reservations for the place even though it is reasonably priced is a good idea. It's named after some (I think French) author whose name begins with an M but is hard to pronounce, hence the name of the place is M. The decor consists of what looks like butcher paper bounded to each table, as well as on the walls. On this paper are drawings of shelves, dressers, and other furniture. There are even frames drawn around real photos. It might seem weird at first glance, but the point is that the author the restaurant is named after is being honored by the paper decor, since the use of paper is what made him capable of writing. Plus it was cute.

Dinner was a success! I sat with two American undergraduate students who are studying here for the semester, as well as their advisor from Romania named Monica who happens to be a PhD student in the Philosophy department here. Small world! I had delicious pumpkin soup with roasted pumpkin seeds, apple-stuffed turkey and mashed sweet potatoes, and pumpkin and poppy seed pie. These were all made in the Hungarian way as promised, but it was so nice to have something close to what I would normally have on Thanksgiving and I was very grateful for it. Oh, and I also had enough wine to where it looked like I was looking through glass during the end of the evening, but it's all good. After the live music was done, and as my table was finished getting stuffed, we went to go home for the evening. Monica, being the nice wonderful person she is (as well as a CEU employee) picked up the check and charged it to the school. Haha! Ultimate win!

So all in all, even though I didn't have Thanksgiving with my family, I didn't have a spoiled day and I was very thankful for the company I had that night. Next year, since I will be back here in Budapest, I hope to be able to repeat the evening.

Alright, I am so not in the mood to talk about my Vienna trip just now, I'm getting so sleepy. Next time I promise!

Strolling Down Andrassy ut

It seems as though fall has finally decided to arrive here in Budapest. For a while the temperature had been flirting with the idea of making its promising drop, but only just recently has it actually happened. At least for me. I think the locals and anyone who has never spent any amount of time living in an "arctic region" would say it got cold here weeks ago. However, since the leaves have been changing colors only just recently, now everyone can agree that it is officially fall.

Last weekend I took the opportunity to treat myself to a movie. Since it was an American movie (Julie & Julia and absolutely adorable) I'm very much guilty of not submerging myself in Hungarian culture. For my defense though, I did try to speak as much Hungarian as I could when purchasing the ticket, and there were Hungarian subtitles written on the screen which I tried to match the spoken English words to them from time to time, so there.

The next day I invited Darjana and her boyfriend Peter, who was visiting from Serbia, to go to the Fine Arts Museum with me. Yes, it's the same museum I went to a few weeks back, but there was a whole new temporary exhibit up and I wanted to see it very much. It's called "From Boticelli to Titian- Masterpieces of Two Centuries of Italian Art." I couldn't live with myself if I let an exhibit like this get away from me. There were several of Boticelli's religious paintings on display. Until then I had only seen ones such as Primavera and the Birth of Venus, so this was really exciting. There is speculation that Boticelli had traveled to Hungary when he was a young art apprentice, so there's some fun trivia for you. The exhibit had a number of impressive paintings by Titian, Veneto, Il Sodoma, Tintoretto, as well as many others. The painting I was most excited to see was Lady with an Ermine by Leonardo da Vinci. Beyond knowing that it would be absolutely gorgeous to look at, in the back of my mind I remembered that it was what inspired Philip Pullman to use daemons (animal companions) in His Dark Materials oh which I became obsessed with in 8th grade. Despite the fact there were a butt-load of people there wanting to see the same things we did, overall it was a nice experience going to the museum.

After the museum visit the three of us walked down Andrassy ut in search of coffee. It was raining of course, yet it wasn't cold enough to find the atmosphere miserable. The wetness made the varying colors of the leaves stand out, and I found enjoyment looking at them against the fashionable embassy buildings along the "Broadway of Pest." We found a place for coffee on Nagymezo utca and I ate some amazing Serbian food called Plazma that Peter was so kind to bring from home. We were on the same street where Cassandra and I saw a photo exhibit when she was here. Unfortunately the cute little elephant sculpture she posed next to is no longer there, but I still have the memory.

I'm not sure what is in store for this weekend. There was consideration for some travel to another city, but with the rain happening everywhere in Central Europe it might be better to wait another week. I am feeling a little sick as well- I've been dealing with a sinus infection off and on all week and today I'm feeling particularly week. Luckily it's Thursday (laundry day!) so I don't have to do anything too stressful today- although I have yet to look at the Sartre reading for tomorrow so maybe the stress level will change! (I kid, I kid...)

Long Live the Hungarians!

It seems as though the days spent here in Budapest are going by so fast that I only get a chance to blink two times before it's a new day. I'm happy about this because I am excited to return home for the winter holiday season, but at the same time I feel like I am running out of time to enjoy Budapest. A lot of it has to do with being a full-time student with the most ridiculous schedule on the planet, which means that I have to be smart about setting aside time for play and make sure that I don't compromise my studies too much. Maybe I'm taking school a little too seriously; then again, if I just wanted to explore/travel/party all the time, I could have done that without signing up for a two-year school program.

I have been making it a point to do at least one thing for myself a week that involves enjoying Budapest and forgetting that I have any homework to do. Two weekends ago when I visited the second-hand English bookstore, I picked up a flyer for a symphony orchestra concert happening the following weekend. The flyer expressed that the show would feature the cimbalom, and although at the time I wasn't exactly sure what that was, I figured it would be a fun time. When I got to my room, I hopped on the computer and found out that the cimbalom is a fancy name for a hammer dulcimer that has been tweaked by the Hungarians to suit their wants. I immediately decided I was going to go, and I didn't mind at all that I would be going alone. There are just some things in the world that are better to enjoy without having to be distracted by the awareness of a companion there. Don't get me wrong, I do still like to be social, I just wanted this for myself.

Last Saturday I made my way to the Duna Palota, which is a former casino-turned-palace right across the street from where I go to school.  Talk about not having to worry about getting lost! When I found the entrance to the palace I was immediately overwhelmed by the decor- everything was carefully styled in neo-Baroque (pretty much all archietectural styles in Budapest are "neo" because there are not a whole lot of surviving original buildings due to war destruction). Once I was given my seating assignment I walked slowly up the red carpeted stairs so that I could admire the golden stucco features of the walls and the cherubs pointing down at me from the ceilings. If the concert turned out to be awful, at least I knew I would be able to enjoy the atmosphere.

Much to my satisfaction the concert turned out to be amazing. The theater itself was quaint, for it occupied just a small area on the upper floor of the building. The decorations were just as impressive as the rest of the palace, although I didn't doubt this for a moment before walking into it. When the members of the orchestra came out from backstage they didn't once try to hide their individual personalities, and you can tell they treated one another more as family members rather than colleagues. They began by playing the Rakoczi March by Berlioz, which I later found out is considered an anthem of Hungary (although unofficially). The sounds were full and rich and I couldn't help but notice my emotions stirring. After a few other Hungarian-influenced pieces, the orchestra played Tschardas (or Czardas) from Coppelia and I actually started to cry. It was the song the last ballet class I apprenticed at Mo's had danced to, so I did feel some sadness, but they played it so well that I felt happy at the same time. Talk about mixed emotions... The orchestra played pieces by Bartok, Liszt, Lehar, Brahms, and Strauss, with the cimbalom coming in every once in a while to be featured in a specific piece. The player did a solo of Monti's Csardas and once again I cried, but this time I felt no sadness whatsoever. I felt like I was turning into my mother (no offense Mom!) :) Earlier before the cimbalom player came out, the orchestra played Haydn's Farewell Symphony IV, and every so often the players would get up, one by one, nod at the audience, and leave the stage. The audience chuckled, at first because they weren't sure what was going on and thought this was strange, but then they (I'm just going to assume) figured out what was going on (a farewell song, get it?) and laughed out of amusement. When there were only three instruments left, the conductor turned around and shrugged at the audience, pretending he had no idea what was happening. When the last viola left the stage, the conductor threw up his hands and stormed off the stage himself, leaving two violin players to duet until the end of the song. When they finished, they gave a nice bow to the audience and practically ran off the stage, making the audience chuckle once again. I was definitely having a great time.

The conductor was an interesting specimen for sure. There were times where he would act extremely serious with his orchestra, and there were other times where he would stop conducting and do a little hip swivel dance to the music. I think I would have liked him as my own conductor. He allowed certain instruments to lead the orchestra at different times, and he made sure to acknowledge the entire band after each song rather than just the soloists. I secretly think he either has a thing for and fling with the first violin player, because he was constantly kissing her hand and making her blush. Near the end of the concert during Long Live the Hungarians! he lead the audience in a hand-clapping frenzy, getting us to clap loud and soft and to different rhythms throughout the song. He "tricked" us at one point by making us think he would lead us into a big clap, but then suddenly stopped himself, although we still clapped, and gave us a shake of a his finger right before he winked. His mannerisms were odd but enjoyable, mostly because he was more cool and relaxed than I've ever seen a conductor be. I really wonder what his orchestra thinks of him, for it would be my guess they all get along with him and prefer his style. Then again, maybe he can be so cool on stage because he trains them so strictly during rehearsals. Shrugs, you never know.

I loved going to the symphony so much last weekend, that I'm going again. It's a completely different one this time though, with an entirely new orchestra and location. The show is going to be held at St. Stephen's Basilica, so I imagine there will be songs inspired mostly by religion versus the pride of a nation. I am very excited to sit inside the basilica and find out what kind of experience I will have. The show takes place tonight, so I should probably get ready for it soon.

One last thing before I go. Yesterday was Revolution Day, a national holiday in Hungary that observes the revolution against the Soviets of 1956. It marked the three year anniversary of the day I first landed in Budapest when I was on break from school in Greece. Since we didn't have classes, I invited Elena to come along with me to the Museum of Fine Arts, which is located right outside of Hero's Square. Since it was a holiday admission for all exhibits were free. I wanted to take advantage of this fact in order to see the "Turner and Italy" exhibit, which would be closed in a couple days so that the "From Boticelli to Titian" exhibit could be installed. I really enjoyed the works by J. M. W. Turner, who had made a whole series of sketches and watercolors while traveling to different regions of Italy. He made Italy look so soft and pleasant that it made me want to go back there again really soon, especially to Capri. Elena and I toured the museum for almost 4 hours (although we did take a break for a snack and a drink) and we only covered half of the permanent exhibits. Once the new temporary exhibit is put in place, I'll go back to see it, as well as the other half that I missed.

I'm typing a new post so that I keep my fingers out of my eye

Siighh...I have an eye infection. I realized it right in the middle of tonight's yoga session when I thought there was an eyelash or dust under the lid. Instinctively I went to work on the eyeball to try to get whatever foreign object it was out of there, but upon my non-success I realized the feeling was over the entire eyeball and not in one concentrated spot. I ran into the bathroom to look at my eye in the mirror, and just as I expected, the area was covered with a yellow film. I poked at the nearest sinus and I noticed unwanted pressure that tends to come with this lovely pussed-eye look. Great. These type of infections do happen to me frequently- my doc says I have a very thin sinus on the left side of my face by my eye that easily gets clogged- but I haven't had one since the end of June. There isn't a whole lot I can do other wait it out, and if it gets really bad (meaning I get a full-on sinus infection that'll basically make me worthless) I have some antibiotics in my drawer. I just have to keep my damn fingers out of my eye, which is hard when it feels so natural to prod and poke.

But what's going on in my world of Budapest? Last weekend I went to two sessions for the in-house conference the Philosophy department hosted. It was a two-day event where PhD candidates gave talks on their thesis projects. I didn't make it to any of the early morning events, because I don't do early mornings if I don't have to, but I did manage to get to the later ones after lunch. Afterwards there was a wine reception. I find it very kind that after any event they host, they offer free wine to all who attend. This includes the colloquium talks that occur each Tuesday evening. I did stay for a little while last Friday, but from here on out I'm going to skip out of the building as soon as the presentations are over, because I really do not need to be drinking any alcohol (or soda for that matter) while I am staying in Hungary. Yes yes, I'm lame, but I like it better this way.

Anyway, when I was heading to the dorm Friday I was all alone and it was late. Luckily Budapest has a reputation for being a very safe city. I ended up making a very temporary new "friend" on the bus ride from the metro station to my dorm. At first I thought he was some old creepo, and as he talked to me in Hungarian I just kept shaking my head and looking out the window. Finally I realized that I actually knew how to say "I don't speak Hungarian" in Hungarian and I thought this would be a good way to kindly let him know I wasn't interested in a conversation. Turns out he's one of those people who gets extremely excited when hearing his language spoken by a foreigner. He asked me where I was from. Shoot! I just learned how to say where I'm from in my Hungarian class the night before. He then asked my age, what I'm doing in Budapest, and where I'm going (I think). Me: "Am 24 I. Am student I." *Gives shrug for last question.* At that point I was very interested in trying to figure out what he wanted to tell me, and to figure out what I should tell him. Granted, I don't know a whole lot of Hungarian after taking the language class for only two weeks, but still, I gotta practice everything at some point. The man pulled out an apple and handed it to me. "Alma!" I exclaim. (That means apple.) Oh yes, now we're really onto something. He tolds out three more and shoves them toward me. Is he giving me his apples? I'm not sure, but I start to count "Egy, ketto, harom...." I hesistate because I cannot remember the word for four, so he helps me..."Negy..." Ah yes negy! Once we got the apples counted he put them into a bag and dropped it onto my lap. At that point it was time for me to get off the bus and go into my dorm, so I formally said Thank-you to him for giving me the apples, and informally said Good-bye because that was all I could remember. All in all, the whole scenario turned out well, and I totally scored negy almas.

It's supposed to rain all weekend, so instead of doing some sight-seeing I'm going to find some place called Tree Hugger Dan's Bookstore and Cafe. There are actually two locations, one being by the famous opera house and other being just two metro stops down from the first. My sister could probably find them easily because it's close to the photo gallery we went to on Andrassy ut (avenue). Why I want to go to one of these places is they sell free-trade coffee (score) and second-hand English books (extra extra score). I know I shouldn't be reading books that aren't my texts for school, and usually I stick to that rule during the school year, but there's no harm in just taking a look, is there? Anyway, that's where I'll be tomorrow if anyone comes looking. Have a great weekend!

Thursday is Laundry Day

I've been back in Budapest for maybe half a week, but with all the catching up I've had to do for school and running errands and what not, it feels like I've been back for an entire month. I lucked out and everyone I've gotten to know, including the professors, have been extremely helpful in getting me up to speed with everything. Two of my friends even gave me recordings of some of the lectures- unfortunately one of the recordings is of the professor who has the thickest Hungarian accent ever and I can't make out a single word that he's saying. This is true in real life as well, so this will definitely be an interesting semester. I hope at some point I'll get used to it and understand what he's saying.

Yesterday I had my first class at 11 AM, and my second one wasn't until 5:20 PM so I had a few hours to kill. I struggled to find ways to do so- I did all my required readings for the next two days, I dang-near wrote a novel for an e-mail to Cassandra, and I read every single word on the Daily Newsminer's website. After all that I still had two hours left to go, so I decided to grab some food at a Chinese restaurant near the school. I don't know why I thought that would kill any amount of time, I was finished with my food in about ten minutes and I still had nothing to do. The restaurant didn't exactly have the "sit around and hang out" atmosphere that I needed, so I moved down the street to a coffee shop. I did this on the same day I decided to give coffee a rest, since it's somewhat expensive here and  I'm sure my health would appreciate the break. "Just one more day wouldn't hurt" I thought, but then of course this stupid schedule would be repeated next week all over again. Also, I completely forgot I could have just ordered a hot chocolate, or even a non-caffeinated tea or something. I'll remember that for next week.

Today my first class isn't until 7 PM. It's my Hungarian language class, and after the first session I had two days ago I don't remember anything except how to introduce myself. Oh, and I know how to count from 1 to 2, and then 5 to 10. Right now I can't remember how to say 3 or 4, but as soon as I look at the notes laying on my bed I'm sure I'll be golden. Since I had no obligations for school today other than to write a 1 page response paper on a really easy reading for my Aesthetics class, I decided to catch up on laundry, clean my room, write the paper, and listen to the Chicago soundtrack. When I listen to the music from it I like to pretend that I am Roxie Hart, Velma Kelly, and Billy Flynn all at the same time. Don't worry, I have the whole routine worked out in my head and it pretty much only works in there, so you'll never have to worry about me thrusting it upon you or anything. :) Since it's not quite 3 PM I still have quite a lot of time to kill, so I'm thinking I'll do some yoga, take a shower, have a late lunch and read some more of the Time Traveler's Wife. I should probably go out and explore more of Budapest, but I still have the experience of being in Alaska last week fresh in my mind and I'm not ready to let go of it yet. Besides, if I do all my exploring now, I'm really going to have to find a way to kill time for the next two years.

June Elaine Lash (1923-2009)

I never imagined what life would be like without Grandma. I wouldn't even let myself make the effort to try.

When I learned that my Grandma June passed away on Thursday, September 17, I was devastated. I didn't want to believe it was true- I wanted it to be a big mean joke. I did know the truth though, and I didn't bother trying to hold back the tears. I cried over the phone with Cassandra, I cried in the shower, I cried on the metro (I tried to cover that one up as best as I could though), I cried in the coffee shop (it's called Coffee Heaven so it doesn't let you ignore the truth) and I cried in front of a few of my peers once I got to school. At that point the rest of the world didn't matter. I lost the only grandmother I had ever known, and to make it worse I was alone in a foreign country thousands of miles away from my family.  I really needed them, whether they knew it or not, and I felt guilty that I didn't have a way to offer them my support. I knew that since I was just starting school, and was half way around the world, my chances were slim for going home. Slim chance or not, that night once I returned to my dorms, I became determined to make it home to be with my family and go to Grandma's funeral. I wanted to make sure I would be able to say my final goodbye to Grandma since I couldn't while she was still alive.

God I miss her. If you've never known Grandma personally, there is a very special chunk of life you've missed out on. Grandma had always been a crafty woman, not only with objects like her afghans, but also with her remarks and conversations. She had a great sense of humor, and when she would crack jokes I knew she was enjoying her life at that exact moment. It made me happy when I knew she was happy. What cracks me up about her the most is how much of a huge flirt she was. She had a special place in her heart for doctors and paramedics, and she had no qualms about letting them know this. Since she was a tiny old lady her advances were more adorable than anything. I loved it when I was a kid and I would go visit her and my Grandpa. She always made me poached eggs on toast, which to this day is still my favorite egg style ever. I remember every once in a while she would give me a really serious look, grab my hands, and tell me that she wanted me to know she loved me. She did that a lot recently come to think of it, so my guess is she knew her time was coming to a close. She lived a very long life and created a huge loving family, so it's up to me and everyone else who feels lost because of her death to realize that it is all okay, and that it's best to celebrate her life and her memory rather than dwell over the fact that she's gone.

Right now I'm back in Alaska, and I'm trying to make the most out of being here as I can. Tomorrow the family will attend Grandma's viewing, and the day after we'll have the funeral, burial, and memorial gathering at my Aunt Cindy's house. Once that's over I'll still have a couple days to spend in Fairbanks, so I'm going to take advantage of the cool weather and fallen leaves and appreciate being home. The lfight back to Budapest on Saturday is going to seem longer than ever before.