June Elaine Lash (1923-2009)

I never imagined what life would be like without Grandma. I wouldn't even let myself make the effort to try.

When I learned that my Grandma June passed away on Thursday, September 17, I was devastated. I didn't want to believe it was true- I wanted it to be a big mean joke. I did know the truth though, and I didn't bother trying to hold back the tears. I cried over the phone with Cassandra, I cried in the shower, I cried on the metro (I tried to cover that one up as best as I could though), I cried in the coffee shop (it's called Coffee Heaven so it doesn't let you ignore the truth) and I cried in front of a few of my peers once I got to school. At that point the rest of the world didn't matter. I lost the only grandmother I had ever known, and to make it worse I was alone in a foreign country thousands of miles away from my family.  I really needed them, whether they knew it or not, and I felt guilty that I didn't have a way to offer them my support. I knew that since I was just starting school, and was half way around the world, my chances were slim for going home. Slim chance or not, that night once I returned to my dorms, I became determined to make it home to be with my family and go to Grandma's funeral. I wanted to make sure I would be able to say my final goodbye to Grandma since I couldn't while she was still alive.

God I miss her. If you've never known Grandma personally, there is a very special chunk of life you've missed out on. Grandma had always been a crafty woman, not only with objects like her afghans, but also with her remarks and conversations. She had a great sense of humor, and when she would crack jokes I knew she was enjoying her life at that exact moment. It made me happy when I knew she was happy. What cracks me up about her the most is how much of a huge flirt she was. She had a special place in her heart for doctors and paramedics, and she had no qualms about letting them know this. Since she was a tiny old lady her advances were more adorable than anything. I loved it when I was a kid and I would go visit her and my Grandpa. She always made me poached eggs on toast, which to this day is still my favorite egg style ever. I remember every once in a while she would give me a really serious look, grab my hands, and tell me that she wanted me to know she loved me. She did that a lot recently come to think of it, so my guess is she knew her time was coming to a close. She lived a very long life and created a huge loving family, so it's up to me and everyone else who feels lost because of her death to realize that it is all okay, and that it's best to celebrate her life and her memory rather than dwell over the fact that she's gone.

Right now I'm back in Alaska, and I'm trying to make the most out of being here as I can. Tomorrow the family will attend Grandma's viewing, and the day after we'll have the funeral, burial, and memorial gathering at my Aunt Cindy's house. Once that's over I'll still have a couple days to spend in Fairbanks, so I'm going to take advantage of the cool weather and fallen leaves and appreciate being home. The lfight back to Budapest on Saturday is going to seem longer than ever before.

Getting Cozy

The photo to the right is of Cassandra and me when we visited Hero's Square. At that point I was still brand new to Budapest.

I think at this point I'm pretty well settled into my place at the CEU Residence Center. I can't really say that I am in the rest of the city, except for at one coffee shop the girl who works there already knows my order before I even open my mouth. Despite all the odd things I've been having to get used to, such as walking around in what feels like a lot of heat, or using three different types of transportation (bus, metro, and tram) to get from Point A to Point B, or finding out that water isn't free, I still really enjoy the city. I went to lunch today with some of my peers from the Philosophy department and we all decided that Budapest is much better than Prague. So there you have it.

I'm failing miserably in my attempt to be a loner. It's WAY too easy to get to know people around here. Luckily I prefer it this way, and was only going to try to play the Loner Card because I wanted to be different than I ever have been before. I'm glad I got that out of my system. There is nothing better than walking down the street and seeing a familiar face, then running off with that person to do some task because you both have to do it anyway, and then deciding to join each other for dinner later.  Everyone so far seems to be really nice. There is one thing about the people I hang out with though that took a while for me to get used to. You see, our department isn't very big, so everyone is pretty much together all the time, which is good. The greatest portion of the students are from either Serbia, Croatia, or Montenegro, so they all speak similar languages and what's not so great is they choose to use them most of the time. At first I would sit there and fume. I hated being left out of whatever conversation it was, and I thought it was a serious waste of time whenever one of the people would decide to translate for me after the conversation was finished. I think Elena, the girl from Romania, and I have bonded the most because we're the only two who can't understand what everyone else is saying and really prefer to use English at our English-speaking institution. However, at this point I've gotten so used to it happening that instead of getting upset, my mind wanders off into my own little world as I tune them out. I actually take advantage of the situation by sorting out my thoughts that like I would normally do on my own, without having to actually be alone. Basically I've found that I can make the best out of situations like these, so it's all good.

Over the weekend I joined a bus tour around the city. It was informative and helpful, because now I think I can come up with a place I want to get to and have an idea of which way I need to head. The lady who was our tour guide though cracked me up quite a bit. At one time she pointed out the largest sports arena in Hungary and told the bus that "it can hold 13 people." I guess that's progress for you. :) I didn't exactly get amazing photos during the tour because we spent more time on the coach than we did outside standing still, so I'm thinking one of these weekends I'll have to take myself on my own little tour. It'll be the perfect opportunity to learn how to use the manual camera Cassandra was so kind to leave for me. I'm sure if I wore my big hat with a "PRESS" tag sticking out from it, I wouldn't look like a tourist at all.

Today I signed up for all my classes and got all the required reading material that is available at this point. I'm going to take 8 classes, which sounds like a big load but it only makes up 15 credits. One of the "classes" is a department colloquium where only our attendance (and I'm sure attention) is mandatory as guest speakers will be coming in once a week to discuss philosophical topics. I'm actually pretty excited about that. I'm also excited about my Aesthetics class, which is my 4 credit elective. The rest of my classes are mandatory core classes, which will be Logic (sure...), Metaphysics (score!), Continental Philosophy Since Kant (woot!), Philosophy of Language (ehhh...) and Academic Writing (barf). I will also be taking a non-credit beginning Hungarian language course, which I hope to be extremely helpful in getting me to not have to feel so guilty for only remembering how to say "thank you" in Hungarian. I was going to take a Political Science course as an elective, but I'll save it for next semester since my course load won't be as full with core classes then. Seems about right I think, now I just need to actually get through it with success.

I really wish Cassandra could have stayed around here a little bit longer. I think she would be impressed at how my entire school and residence center are used as photo galleries. I'm not exactly sure who the photographers are, but there is some fancy work here and I bet she could get some good ideas from it all. Maybe if we're lucky she'll get to see it all if she is able to come visit in the future.

Tomorrow I don't have any meetings, so I'm going to take advantage of the time and buy groceries and check out the school's sports center. They offer classes in belly dancing and yoga...what more could I ask for? :)

From an end to a beginning, with bathing in between

Our trip has come to a close. Cassandra flew back to D.C. and will soon go back to Alaska and I am settled into my new lifestyle as a student in Budapest. I guess “settled” isn’t exactly the best word, but I am no longer traveling about and I have actually put my whole room together at the CEU Residence Center. It’s somewhat of a bare room, which is a little depressing, but if the cleaning lady who will be coming in once a week discovers anything taped or nailed to the walls my ass is toast. The bulletin board is fair game though, so all the photos I brought along as well as some of the postcards I bought in England and Scotland are now taped on there- I don’t want holes in them so I skipped the thumb tacks. I did try to put a little personality (mine, anyway) into this room so I set up two My Little Ponies that I snagged from home. It’d be nice if I had my whole collection.

Since Cassandra flew back to the U.S. today I’ve been feeling really down. I went to my orientation meetings today and although they were helpful I haven’t yet gotten into school-mode yet. Classes don’t even start though for another two weeks so I’m in no rush to make the mental transition. For now I’m exploring the city some more, and am scoping out little “hot spots” such as particular areas in the city center park or coffee shops along the route from my dorm to the my school that I can use as comfort zones when I need them. I don’t always like to study in my room, and I can’t stand the sounds that are made in libraries- the kind where people end up exaggerating on their efforts to be quiet that they end up being extra noisy- so I like to pick out places where I can go and fall into my own little world.

This is going to sound gross, but it’s my life and it’s current so here it goes… I haven’t shaved my legs in about three weeks and they are not looking pretty. Cassandra and I basically gave up on the idea of shaving our legs (don’t worry, we still got our arms) during the trip because we were always sharing bathrooms with other people in hostels and we didn’t want to take up too much time and what not. I figured once I got to my permanent room I’d shave my legs the moment I got into the shower. Yeah, that would be a splendid idea if I could bend over without hitting my head on the shower wall. Seriously, I’m pretty sure showers in motor homes are bigger than the one I have. I’m glad I’m not bigger around because otherwise there would be no where for the water to go other than up. I think what I’m going to have to do is set up a shaving station at my sink and just go ahead and work it that way for the next two years. It’s either that or be a happy little hippie for a while- yeah, not so much.

I also mention this little issue because Cassandra and I were chuckling about it as we were putting on our bathing suits. Yesterday morning we treated ourselves to one of the more popular Turkish baths in the city, the Gallert. It was a bit of a hassle trying to figure everything out. It took us about twenty to thirty minutes worth of running around and questioning people about what we are supposed to do and how to go about obtaining suits (the shop was closed for another two hours) until finally one woman understood what we were after. When we finally got to the swimming pool area I was pretty excited. The architecture was pretty amazing, with all the marble floors, walls, and statues in all areas of the bath. It’s very Art Nouveau. After a bit we wandered through a maze to get to the thermal baths. We went into the hotter one, and Cassandra really liked it. My thing is I don’t really like sitting in hot water very long. We did spend a good amount of time in it though, and after we got into the sauna for a short while. Cassandra probably could have lasted in there longer than me, but I don’t do well with heat in any form, so I had to get out. After that we decided to get into the big swimming pool and it felt so cold! It took us a minute to get used to it and I loved it. We swam a couple laps around and pretty much giggled the whole time while doing it. During one of the laps something was turned on and the whole pool went bubbly. It was fun! When we were done we got changed AND THEN saw that an outdoor wave pool existed. Darn the luck, that one probably would have been the best.

The rest of the day we spent walking to Castle Hill (exhausting!) and making our way to the Robert Capa exhibit at the Ludwig Museum. Capa was a photographer that Cassandra was very familiar with and I’m pretty sure his exhibit was the best part of the trip for her, so I’m happy we went. I was very impressed by his work- there were shots of famous people like Ingrid Bergman, Pablo Picasso, Ernest Hemingway, and John Steinbeck, as well as a lot of his war photography. There were some photos up that stirred up my emotions, like the one I saw of a dead child on a path with a soldier nearby. The show is really popular in Budapest right now, it seems like everyone in the city has gone or is planning on going soon. I hope they do, especially since one of the greatest photographer considered by many people all over the world was born in Budapest.

I’m curious to find out what tomorrow is going to be like. We are going to be given a tour of the library, and me being the nerd I am I am sure to enjoy it. I’m missing home though- I won’t mind it so much if December doesn’t take very long to arrive.

From London to Budapest

We have arrived! I'm in the city where I'll be spending two years going to school and maybe earning a Master's degree, assuming I don't screw it up along the way. We arrived to our hostel later than expected due to a flight delay and a baggage pick-up delay (cops were called to the airport for a suspicious bag, so I heard) so we're just going to hang out here tonight. I don't want to attempt venturing out into the rainy darkness right now, so we're going to save our wandering for tomorrow. I'm hoping to locate the university as well as the residence center. I have to be at a meeting at the res center Sunday night so I'll actually start to meet my peers then. Exciting!

Our last day in London was really enjoyable for me. I'm not so sure Cassandra had a good time- she's been really funny and negative a lot on this trip it seems. I'm trying not to let it get me down though, I worked too hard planning everything to let that happen. Anyway, after getting ready we went to Oxford Circus to meet up with my friend Ben. It was so good to see him again! He and Cassandra seemed to get along really well so that made me happy. We walked to Chinatown to get lunch at a place "the locals" like to eat, and it was damn good food. Just the day before I was whining about how much I wanted Pagoda. After lunch he took us to the National Portrait Gallery, a place I have never been to before. There were portraits painted of all sorts of monarchs and government officials, as well as other important people and friends of important people. Moving along there were more contemporary pieces of random people I didn't know, and then finally we arrived to a photography gallery. I can't remember the photographer, and neither can Cassandra apparently, but that's okay because at the very end we got to see an exhibit of photos taken of Bob Dylan on a tour of Europe back when he was 25. He looked so young and cool, I'm thinking about looking for the book of those photos later when I'm back at home.

Once we were done at the gallery, we decided to walk to a park when all of the sudden Cassandra's arm was hurting. It was the weirdest thing, especially since Ben had JUST told us the remedy of how to fix a hurting arm when we were having lunch. According to a little girl who fell onto her arm when playing on playground equipment, the only thing that would make her arm feel better was ice cream. So there you have it. We decided to test the theory Ben told us, and it worked! Cassandra and Ben enjoyed their ice cream and mended arms while I had a coffee, and we walked off into St. James' Park. That place was incredible for several reasons, but mostly because of its wildlife. The gray squirrels (which are not rabid due to being on an island or something) expect to be fed by people because it happens all the time. We watched people allow the squirrels to climb on them and search for bits of food. There were also Canada geese, bar-headed ducks, etc. that expected to be fed as well, and they had ZERO fear of people. Ben told me he comes to the park to feed the animals all the time, but he never feeds the pigeons because he and the rest of London hates them. He said it's also forbidden to feed pelicans because they feed at a zoo nearby all the time. It was crazy watching all these animals flock to people. I was afraid of being pooped on.

Once we were done viewing the animal spectacle it was about time for Ben's girlfriend Naomi to get off work. We went to a nearby pub to meet her before going to our show Thriller Live. Naomi was such a sweetheart! I'm really happy that Ben found someone so great, and it was nice that she didn't mind Ben hanging out with two girls while she was at work. I hate it when people get all nervous and jealous for stupid reasons. Luckily there was nothing to worry about.

Thriller Live was a pretty incredible show, but I gotta admit that I was too busy thinking about how sad I was that Michael Jackson has died that I didn't fully give the show the chance it deserved. The dancers were pretty badass though, and I recognized one of them from my Dance Spirit magazine. The singing was really good as well, except there were two singers that Cassandra and I were very annoyed with- I guess one of them won X Factor (the British version of American Idol) and she thought she was hot stuff. That's not what I would expect at a tribute show. Still though, the songs, lights, colors, costumes, and choreography were all very exciting. For one part of the show they took the recording of Michael's 1995 performance from the MTV Video Music awards and recreated it- they even had the part where a man was flipped over after his "gun" was taken away and all the men bent forward to an impossible degree from their ankles. Argh I wish I could have seen the real thing!

So that's it for now. Tomorrow will be a whole new adventure. I am hoping to take Cassandra to a Turkish bath but like an idiot I forgot to pack my bathing suit. I won't be surprised if I find one somewhere though, those baths are very popular here. Eek, then it's off to school! I really hope I'm cut out for it.

It's weird to be in London and not get on a bus to another city right away

Hello hello! Cassandra and I are in our itty bitty room at the Clink Hostel in London. It's smaller than my room at home, which for those of you who know what I'm talking about you're probably wondering how they can allow four people to stay in a linen closet together. They do though, and it's super hot in here, and the walls are headachy orange to boot. We make due though, and the sink in here actually has just ONE faucet meaning I can choose the temperature of my water instead of frantically running my hands back and forth between the hot faucet and the cold in order to get luke warm or whatever. I'm really hoping I have just one faucet in my apartment in Budapest, but I have a feeling when I get there in a couple days I will be sorely disappointed.

Just to catch up, Cassandra and I spent yesterday and the day before in my favorite town in England- Salisbury! The impressive cathedral with the tallest spire in Great Britain resides there (it actually owns the town in a way...nothing can be built taller than it and it owns property that Marks & Spencer, etc. are located) and we got to climb it most of the way. I loved the climb, I actually enjoy the little bit of burn in my thighs. Going down though I became a total chicken shit but nervously kept my mouth shut as I carefully made my way down the narrow steps. When we were up there the view was fantastic- we could see out for miles. The best part of all is when inside the tower we were able to see what I consider the more intimate part of the cathedral- we were looking at original scaffolding from the 1200s and everything else that didn't need to be covered with marble sculptures and other pomp. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy a finely decorated Gothic cathedral, but I especially love this one because I've seen it in so many different ways now. I highly recommend it to anyone traveling in that area.

The day before going to the cathedral we took a bus tour to Stonehenge. The weather was actually amazing, so the entire world joined us on the tour. Seriously, the site was PACKED. While toodling around the stones I thought it would make a really interesting image if everyone around decided to lay down and lounge about. Even with all the people there I'm glad the weather was nice, because it seemed like Cassandra was getting discouraged with having bad lighting for all her photos due to poor weather. There were even spots every now and then where we didn't see any people around or through the stones, so that was nice. Stonehenge itself is interesting to see, but I'm more in awe of how it was created rather than seeing it standing how it is. Maybe that's because I didn't get to see it without people around.

After Stonehenge we took a bus to Old Sarum, which is an old settlement that used to have a castle and a cathedral, but now is in ruins. To get there we had to walk along a path that sheep use when grazing, and just at the end we walked by two men dressed as what looked like 14th century warriors. Weird. We made it to a gravel path and saw a ton of cars parked and camps set up just like we do for the Anderson Bluegrass Festival. A festival was definitely going on, for people were all dressed up in different battle garb from very early medieval days all the way to uniforms the British wore in World War II. Demonstrations, faux battles, crafts, games, cart rides, etc. were all set up and it looked like a really great time. Going through it we saw lots of little kids dressed up as knights and Robin Hood like fellows pretending to hunt one another to fight. They were absolutely adorable, especially when they would yell out to one another in their little English accents. We eventually made our way to the castle, which is in ruins and only bits of some walls and foundations are left. It reminded me of visiting the old ruined Minoan palaces Phaistos, or even Knossos (if it wasn't all messed up from Arthur Evans of course, that dummy). All in all it was a nice day with some great touring, and I'm really hoping my sister liked it as much as I did.

Now that we're in London Cassandra is taking the opportunity to do some things that she wants to do, which is great I think. We went to the Photographer's Gallery around Oxford St. as well as the photography section in the Victoria and Albert Museum in South Kensington. Tomorrow we're going to do some other things she's looked up, and we're also going to meet up with my friend Ben. The last time I saw him I stayed with him for a week in Rugely before going home after I was finished with school in Greece. I'm really looking forward to the visit. Later tomorrow night we're going to see the show Thriller Live, which I hear is great but we're seeing it to replace seeing Michael Jackson himself. If he didn't die on June 25th we would actually get to lay our eyes on the real man. I still can't believe he's gone. *Sings "Gone Too Soon" to self*.

Sleepy time now. I hope our roommates aren't too ridiculous when they come in tonight- I just have to be open-minded and forgiving at all times I suppose. Something like that I'm sure. :P